FACADE STAGEPLAY Fri Jul 29 15 51 46 2005 GRACE Trip, when are you going to get rid of this? (Gonzalo knocks on the front door.) (Gonzalo knocks on the front door.) TRIP What, Grace... -- (interrupted) (Gonzalo knocks on the front door.) (Gonzalo knocks on the front door.) TRIP Oh, he's here! GRACE What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now! (Gonzalo knocks on the front door.) (Gonzalo knocks on the front door.) TRIP No, he's right on time! (Gonzalo knocks on the front door.) (Gonzalo knocks on the front door.) GRACE God... Trip! (Gonzalo knocks on the front door.) (Gonzalo knocks on the front door.) (Gonzalo knocks on the front door.) (Gonzalo knocks on the front door.) (Trip opens the front door.) TRIP Gonzalo!! GONZALO I am Gonzalo! TRIP Hi! It's so great to see you! -- (interrupted) (GONZALO hugs trip.) TRIP Ha ha, hi! GONZALO Yes! TRIP Wow, it's so great -- (interrupted) TRIP Y -- yeah, yeah... GONZALO I am thirsty! TRIP So come on in! TRIP Uh, let me go get Grace... GONZALO Wine! TRIP (unintelligable arguing) GONZALO Wine!!! TRIP (unintelligable arguing) (GONZALO picks up the red wine bottle.) TRIP (unintelligable arguing) -- (interrupted) GRACE No, no, here we are! GRACE Gonzalo, GRACE Hi! How are you? Oh it's so nice to see you, it feels like it's been forever! -- (interrupted) GONZALO I amGonzalo! (GONZALO kisses grace.) TRIP Oh, yeah, I'm gonna fix us some drinks in a sec! TRIP Ah, you'll be the first to sample from my new set of imported drinking glasses. GONZALO DrinkSS!! GRACE Oh, yes, let's... (polite kiss on cheek) -- (interrupted) TRIP Yeah, hang on, ooh, I'm going to make you one of my fabulous drinks in just a minute! GONZALO Give me drinks. GRACE Uhh, -- (interrupted) GRACE (little sigh) (clears throat) GRACE Well, come in, make yourself at home... -- (interrupted) GRACE (little sigh) (clears throat) (GONZALO sits on the couch.) TRIP So! Drinks! (Trip closes the front door.) (GONZALO gets up from the couch.) TRIP How about something fun, GONZALO I am so thirsty!! TRIP like a cosmopolitan? (GONZALO puts down the red wine bottle.) (GONZALO picks up a martini glass 1.) TRIP Uh, well, you know what, I'm just going to make you a cosmopolitan. GRACE No no, GONZALO Yes!!! GRACE Gonzalo, maybe you'd like some juice, or a mineral water? GONZALO No!! GONZALO I want booze! TRIP Alright! That's what I wanted to hear! It'll just take me a short minute here. -- (interrupted) (GONZALO puts down a martini glass 1.) GRACE So anyway, TRIP (quiet humming) -- (interrupted) GRACE (little sigh) -- (interrupted) (GONZALO hugs grace.) GRACE Oh, heh, you're hugging me... TRIP Oh, that's nice of you. Grace, aren't you glad we invited him over? (GONZALO picks up a martini glass 2.) (GONZALO puts down a martini glass 2.) GRACE (clears throat) TRIP In terms of drinks... GONZALO I am so thirsty. GRACE As for my drink... GONZALO Who let all these bats into the room TRIP Yeah, TRIP if there's one thing Grace is really passionate about, it's her decorating... GRACE What? God, GRACE Gonzalo, don't listen to him, it's just a hobby, really -- TRIP No it's a real creative thing for you, it's really great, you get so into it -- -- (interrupted) GONZALO This room is giving me the fear. GRACE What? No, I'm fine, we're fine, everything's fine... GONZALO Drink!!! GRACE Yeah, I'm hoping you can help me understand where I went wrong with my new decorating, ha ha. GONZALO I am Gonzalo!!! GRACE Oh, um, well... I want to ask you... GRACE (little sigh) You know, when I saw this armoire on the show floor, I thought it had such a clean, simple look to it... TRIP It's a nice choice. GONZALO clean, simple. GRACE Oh, well... GRACE (little sigh) So this armoire -- (interrupted) (GONZALO picks up a trinket 1.) GRACE Yeah... GONZALO What is this? TRIP Well, it's impressive... even after a full day's work designing magazine ads, Grace somehow finds time to decorate... GONZALO Booze!!! GRACE Ha ha, -- (interrupted) (GONZALO puts down a trinket 1.) GRACE Okay, okay, this is getting really tiresome...! GRACE You know what, I'll be right back. (GONZALO hugs grace.) TRIP Grace, what are you -- GRACE No you two keep talking about the bar and drinks and the amazing view and everything... GRACE I'll just be in the kitchen. TRIP What? Where are you going? (GONZALO kisses grace.) (GONZALO kisses grace.) TRIP (frustrated sigh) GRACE Alright, alright, everything's fine, let's just, let's just go back to the living room... GONZALO I am GonzalOO!! GRACE Everything's fine... TRIP Yeah, yeah, everything's fine! GONZALO Wine!! GRACE Uhh, you are impossible...! TRIP Okay, look, I hear you, I hear you... GONZALO These bats are freaking me out! TRIP (little impatient sigh) Gonzalo, can you believe this? TRIP (frustrated sigh) GRACE And you... GRACE I can predict what you'll say... GRACE The way you keep talking about Trip's goddamn drinks. GONZALO I am Gonzalo!!! GRACE Your goddamn drinks.... (GONZALO points to the wedding photo.) (GONZALO points to the wedding photo.) GRACE Trip, all this stuff you do, you're just trying to make us look like we're some kind of perfect happy couple! Like we're so happy! TRIP Oh, Christ...! GONZALO Look at this picture! GRACE Alright, you know what, Gonzalo, GRACE I need to ask you something. TRIP Grace -- GRACE Trip, let me ask our guest a question. GONZALO These people look like you! (GONZALO points to the wedding photo.) GRACE Gonzalo, yes or no... GONZALO yes! GRACE In a marriage, shouldn't one person try to make their spouse a better person, even if they don't want it? TRIP What? GRACE I mean, even if they don't actually want it, shouldn't you help your spouse understand a better way to be? GONZALO I want these bats to calm down! GRACE Yes or no. GRACE What...?! GRACE Oh, okay... fine... GONZALO These are bloodthirsty ones. GRACE Don't you see, Trip?! Our marriage... is a sham, Trip! Don't you see that? It's all fake, all pretend... TRIP Oh, Jesus...! TRIP Uhh! You are heartless. TRIP Just stay away from me. (GONZALO kisses grace.) (GONZALO kisses grace.) TRIP Uhh... shit... (GONZALO kisses grace.) (GONZALO kisses grace.) (GONZALO kisses grace.) TRIP Hey, don't -- don't, c -- come on, come on! GRACE What, Trip? Are you trying to talk to me? -- (interrupted) GRACE Gonzalo, (annoyed sigh) -- (interrupted) (GONZALO comforts trip.) TRIP No, uhh... Gonzalo, what I need is to figure out what hell is going here... (GONZALO sits on the couch.) GRACE Gonzalo, it's time that Trip finally just admits that our marriage -- GONZALO I need to sleep. TRIP Grace, don't, no, you don't need to -- GRACE Admits that our marriage is not -- TRIP Stop it, stop it! (annoyed sigh) GONZALO This is bad craziness. GRACE Uhh...! God...! GONZALO I am Gonzalo. GRACE No let's -- let's focus on us, our relationship. GRACE Trip, can't you see, it's the way you speak, the way you talk to me...! GONZALO This room is spinning. (GONZALO gets up from the couch.) GRACE All this stuff... mmm... Having all this money makes us so happy. We're so happy, aren't we Trip? TRIP Jesus, what do you want! Now you're unhappy because we're too well off? TRIP Gonzalo, come on, I don't feel like fixing drinks at this moment! -- (interrupted) (GONZALO picks up the white wine bottle.) (GONZALO puts down the white wine bottle.) GRACE Damn it, Trip, you and my parents are always planning these stupid trips I have to go on.. GONZALO Grace is pretty. TRIP Ah! GRACE Gonzalo, you're saying I'm... loving? GRACE You know, Trip is always hinting that I'm... I'm some kind of... cold, distant person... TRIP Uhh... GONZALO Grace is a woman. GRACE But I'm not! GRACE See, the thing is, it just depends on who I'm with! TRIP (frustrated sigh) GRACE Gonzalo, what, is there something I should do? GONZALO You should try some of these pills GRACE What makes me the most angry, Trip, is what you took away from me. TRIP What? GRACE I wasted ten years in this marriage, making advertisements, and redecorating our apartment! TRIP Uhh! Gonzalo, -- (interrupted) (GONZALO hugs grace.) GRACE Oh, Gonzalo, thanks, but, what we need right now is to just get all this out in the open... (GONZALO sits on the couch.) GONZALO I am Gonzalo. TRIP Let's keep our focus on Grace. GRACE Trip, it's your fault -- ten years ago, freshly married and just out of college, GRACE you convinced me to go into advertising, instead of art! TRIP What? GRACE If it weren't for you, I could be a real artist by now. TRIP Uhh... Gonzalo, uhh... GONZALO I like art! GRACE Uhh, this painting, well... mmm... see, all I really wanted was something personal and, uh... beautiful and special... TRIP Christ, Gonzalo, can we possibly talk any more about Grace's stuff tonight? (frustrated sigh) GONZALO oh god I am so thirsty GRACE God, Gonzalo, can we just stop talking about Trip's stuff, please? (frustrated sigh) (GONZALO gets up from the couch.) (GONZALO picks up a trinket 7.) GRACE Look, why don't we talk about us, our relationship. GRACE I get so upset when I think about it... God, I regret it so much... GONZALO Is this some kind of a monkey? TRIP What? GRACE Why did I let you convince me to give up painting? TRIP Oh, Christ... Gonzalo, uhh... (GONZALO sits on the couch.) TRIP Gonzalo, you think this is all my fault, don't you? GONZALO This statue is freaking me out! (GONZALO gets up from the couch.) GRACE See, you lied to me from the moment we got married, insisted I'd be better off in advertising than art. TRIP What? Oh, Jesus...! TRIP Gonzalo, where are you going? Don't hide in the kitchen, we need you out here! -- (interrupted) GRACE See, Gonzalo, Trip always says, Grace, you're the only person I've ever loved... TRIP Gonzalo, hey, quit leaving the room! You can't start this mess and then leave us to fix it! (GONZALO puts down a trinket 7.) (GONZALO picks up the phone.) GRACE Okay, that's it, goddammit, I can't do this anymore! (GONZALO puts down the phone.) GRACE Gonzalo, I know what you're hinting at, okay?! (GONZALO hugs grace.) GRACE about me... (GONZALO hugs grace.) GRACE Do you two want to hear the honest truth? Huh? GONZALO truth! GRACE Trip, huh? TRIP Yes...! GONZALO I like truth! GRACE Gonzalo, I've actually been paying close attention to what you've been saying tonight. GONZALO About these bats? GRACE Gonzalo, Stop interrupting me, let me finish! (GONZALO sits on the couch.) GRACE You've been pushing me tonight. GRACE And I wonder, are -- are you really my friend...? (GONZALO gets up from the couch.) TRIP Grace! (GONZALO kisses grace.) GRACE Gonzalo, I've got to ask you -- yes or no... GONZALO Yes1 GRACE Do you really think that... GONZALO yes! GRACE kissing me... (GONZALO hugs grace.) GRACE and worst of all, GRACE saying I need to be more loving... GRACE and what you said about trying to make your spouse better... GRACE No, Gonzalo, let me finish! (GONZALO picks up the white wine bottle.) GRACE Is it supposed to add up to something meaningful, or... what? GRACE Is it? I just want a yes or a no. GONZALO Yes! GRACE Alright. GRACE Alright... look... (big sigh) GONZALO I'm the only friend you have got. GRACE Gonzalo, We're... we're actually fine... everything's fine... (GONZALO puts down the white wine bottle.) TRIP Yeah... GRACE And no you don't have to be nice anymore, we're -- we're fine... (GONZALO hugs trip.) GRACE If -- if you need to go, you -- you know, that's fine... GRACE No, no more need to be nice, okay? (GONZALO kisses grace.) GRACE You know, Gonzalo, nothing's changed, we're fine... we'll see you out. TRIP It's great you could come over... really... GONZALO I can see the whole city from here! GRACE Come on, Gonzalo, the evening's over... there's nothing more to say... GONZALO I am so thirsty. TRIP Uh, it's great you came over, but it's time to call it a night. GONZALO Thirsty!!!! GONZALO Oh, god, won't someone help me? (GONZALO kisses grace.) GONZALO I think you're pretty. GONZALO I am Gonzalo! (GONZALO picks up the white wine bottle.) GONZALO sorry. GONZALO i love you so much (GONZALO kisses grace.) GONZALO I have to go. GONZALO open the door. GONZALO let me out!! (GONZALO puts down the white wine bottle.) (GONZALO knocks on the front door.) (GONZALO opens the front door.) (GONZALO picks up the white wine bottle.) (GONZALO puts down the white wine bottle.) (GONZALO points to the elevator button.)